What really matters

First, I cannot apologize enough for my complete mia-ness. I know it's not new, but work somewhat exploded in March. It was 2 months before my work's annual event (I help plan a 3-day wine tasting & auction) for a national healthcare organization and we were down to the wire. Then, exactly one month before my event, our third colleague on the event left. My boss and I planned and executed 3 days of food, wine, and auctions. It was a successful event, but it of course had a price: my life for an entire month. Beginning in March, all wedding planning went on hold (except for our invitations because that was non-negotiable).

So, I write this "comeback" post with a heavy heart. No, my fiance did not leave me or cheat on me. My mother's family is rather large. She is one of 7 children. However, there has been some quarreling among them - a little bit expected when there are so many, perhaps. Then, my grandmother passed away in February and relations among the siblings have not improved. Now, my mother and her brother have only each other as their siblings refuse to talk to them or entertain their requests to make amends. My uncle and his wife still live in the Philippines. They are a wonderful and loving couple and my fiance and I were so excited to include them as our Primary Sponsors in the wedding. Well, my mother heard from my uncle last night who had been to the American embassy earlier that day to apply for their visas. They were denied. They weren't even asked any questions about why they were coming, or had a chance to show the invitation I sent them to include with their application, or the ability to prove that they wouldn't try to illegally stay in the states.

My mother is devastated and so am I. It kills me that now she will have no one in her family represented at our wedding. When I think of my wedding day, all I can think of is the joining of our families and what a wonderful celebration it is supposed to be. My father has siblings, too, 3 sisters. However, one cannot travel because my cousin is still in school and my two other aunts are coming, but neither of their husbands (my uncles) appear to be able to make it. When my mother told me about it a few weeks ago, I couldn't help but cry. Now when I think of my third uncle not being able to make it, my heart just aches. My fiance's family is huge and so many are *hopefully* coming to the wedding. But it saddens me that they won't be able to meet any of my family. Only when I find out that so few of my family will be there do I realize how important it is for me that they are with me on such an important day. I have always looked forward to this day because of what fun it will be and what it symbolizes for both our families. Now, more than ever, do I realize how much family means to me. It almost feels too late.

PS -- Happier posts to come. I promise, including wedding invitations, tastings, favors, shoes and dresses, and my first dress fitting! If you can, please say a prayer for my family and me.